What to Do: Parents Think Their Kid is THE Best

Hey Coaches, Do you know that MY KID is the best?

Well let me just tell you where I think they should play and really they should be playing the whole game, every inning, every time...

Sound familiar?

If you’ve coached for a hot second then I’m sure you’ve heard a parent talk like this before.

And, while every parent should think the best of their kid, not every kid is the best on every team.

I want to help you deal with the parents that think their kid is the best and every kid honestly, should be the best to their parents. But what I'm talking about here is the parent who thinks their kid is better than everyone else. There's no question. They want to put their kid above everyone else. They don't care about the team. They're only looking out for their own kid, probably at the expense of all the other players.  

Here are four tips on how to deal with this.

#1 Share your team concept 
Way before it happens

Share your team concept way before any problem comes up. This is something you should do with your team as you come together for a season. Let the parents know what your team concept is all about. Your team concept can include anything about the talent, the work, the attitude, the commitment, whatever is important to you that you value and will help you as a team. You might explain what it looks like in games, how you decide positions and playing time, anything that really shows what your team is all about. Once the parents know what you're looking for, that helps them know what to encourage their kids to work for so that they can be the best part of the team. This gets everyone on the same page. It helps everyone understand what you're all about, what the team is all about and what everybody should be working for to make the team the most successful. 

Take Action for Coaches

Coaches, how can you take action? You can communicate your team concept to the whole team. Make sure everyone is clear on this. Everyone knows what you expect from the team. 

Take Action for Parents

Parents to help with this one, first off don't be that parent. Don't think your kids are better than the rest at the expense of everyone else. You love your kid, they're the best in your eyes, but they're part of a team and then learn the team concept. Know what is important to the coach and what the team is about.

#2 Talk to those parents
Right before it happens

Yes. I mean, those parents who think their kid is better than everyone else. Talk to them again about what you value in the team. Tell them as much information as you want to give about where they play, what position, what you expect from them, any information usually helps calm them down. All of it can help. You will be listening also to what they have to say. So make sure they're sharing with you at your convenience. Don't do this right before a game, like moments before the game, but maybe a day before, a couple days before the last practice before a game. Let them share, let them get it all out so that when you're ready to play the game, they've already shared, you've already heard. And you have your chance to make sure they understand the team concept. Talking directly to the parents brings a deeper understanding. Maybe they'll have some clarity and some understanding on what you're all about and what you want their player to do in the team and how that fits. And maybe they'll share some things. Maybe they've had some bad experiences in the past so they're overly aggressive about making sure to advocate for their kid. So talking to them gives them a chance to have a deeper understanding for everyone involved. 

Take Action for Coaches

Coaches take action and give parents a heads up whenever you can, about what they can expect for playtime and positions.

Explain as much as you want to about how that process happens and always let them know, like in a game you might just change your mind and you're trying to do the best for the whole team.  

Take Action for Parents

So parents, something you can do to support this is to listen to the brags of those parents. Let them tell you about how great their kid is and they can listen to you brag too. I think every parent should think their kids are the best, so brag together and talk about how great your kids are. And while you’re at it, reinforce how great they are and how it can benefit the team and how it supports the team concept.

#3 Say “I hear you” and Reinforce the Team Concept
The problem happened

Let’s say it happened where the parent just went off on you because their kid is the best and you aren’t playing them enough or whatever their complaint is. So what you can do as a coach, you can say, I hear you and then reinforce the team concept. Because the team concept, what you value, that's the most important thing to play the best players on the team. And you can hear them. You don't have to do anything they say. You don't have to agree with them, but just, I hear you listen to them and say, I hear you and then reinforce your team concept.  When you listen to them and say that you've heard them, this helps keep a positive relationship. So this is a relationship that could have a lot of stress and tension and so you want to keep it as positive as possible and saying, I hear you, instead of arguing or caving in to whatever they want, keeps you as a leader. You can listen to them, but ultimately you’re the one making the decisions. 

Take Action for Coaches

So coaches, if this happens where this parent is telling you how their kid's the best, you can listen, you can hear what they have to say, but stand your ground. Be there for the whole team. It's important above all that you keep the key team concept in mind. 

Take Action for Parents

Parents be vocal about the team concept and the benefits that you're seeing with your child to these parents. So let them know how important this is for everyone and tell them the things that you've seen your child do better because they are part of this team's concept. Don't be afraid to talk about it to other parents on the team and talk it up and make sure that they start to buy into the whole team concept.

#4 Keep growing
After it happened

So after whatever incident has happened, where the parent thinks their player is the best, let them know and let the whole team know that there's always an opportunity to keep growing. Every player can improve. They can work on development, you can help take them to the next level, continue to challenge them, but also they can work on work ethic and attitude and being a great teammate. There's lots of ways to keep growing and that can be a focus. No matter what player and no matter what level they're at, no matter their current ability, they can always keep growing.

So when you keep growing, you are focusing on the team. You're looking again at the team concept, you're looking for everybody to work together. Everyone's bringing out their best, but then you can find ways to keep growing and focus on the.  

Take Action for Coaches

Coaches, the action to take here is just to focus on the work. Parents are going to tell you things all throughout the season, but just focus on the work, helping the kids be the best they can be and taking them to the next level and keeping them moving forward.

Take Action for Parents

Parents work to make sure you're cheering everyone. Be a good role model about cheering for everyone, not just your own child and look to keep everybody growing as players and as a team. You want your own kids to improve and you want that for the whole team as well.

If you follow these tips, then you'll make it the best place to play for your team. You are focused on your team concept. You have open communication where you do hear what your parents have to say, but you have strong leadership within your team, and you can focus on as a team to keep growing and moving forward.