5 Tips to Confront a Coach or Parent Without Tension

Do you need to communicate something difficult to your coach or to a parent? Here are five tips to help you confront someone without tension.

Use these five tips to communicate what you need or want without it being full of stress and tension.

#1 Wait a minute, feel the feelings, and see what you really want

It is important to say something when it is relevant, but you don't have to say it right away. If something comes up that could potentially be confrontational, wait a hot minute before you say it. Take a minute to think about what it really is that you want or need from this situation. Are you angry and there is some need not being met? Are you upset because things didn't go the way you hoped? Was someone a big jerk and you want to call them out? Whatever it is, take a minute, look at your feelings, and think about what you really want.

#2 Focus on why you are in this sport 

Sometimes it helps the other person to know why you are invested in the sport, why it matters so much, why you do it, why you keep showing up. When they see your passion and why it is so important to you, it will be easier for them to have more empathy for you and be able to work with you instead of against you. Focusing on your why also reminds you of what's most important and what might be reasonable to let go.

#3 Write out your side of the story and then wait a little more

Write out everything you're thinking and feeling about the situation. BUT DON'T SEND IT. Just get everything out of your system and onto paper (on a doc). Once you write everything out you can make sure you are really clear on what you want and how to ask for it. If you were filled with emotions (especially anger, upset, frustration), this is a great way to get it all out of your system. Then take out what it really is you want or need, be thoughtful and clear. 

#4 Have someone else read what you wrote

Give someone you trust and who cares about you, what you've written to see if what you're asking makes sense and is clear about what you want or need. Let them give you feedback. 

#5 Realize we're all humans

When you send the email or ask the person to speak with you, do it in a way that has some empathy for what the other person is going through. We are all invested in sports for different reasons and many are near and dear to our heart. So, it's wise to realize that the other person is probably doing what they're doing with their own interests and passions. Have some empathy as you talk to them about what you need or what them to do differently.

Hopefully these tips will help you address a situation with more and empathy, and less stress and tension.